Being Vulnerable

Hey y’all, sorry for being absent the last three weeks or so. I’ve been going through a lot in my own mind with my faith that kind of brought me to a low point but recently had revelation that I want to talk through now. I believe it started when I went to the Bronx in Colombia which is basically a section of road where all the homeless people live and it is riddled with drugs, alcohol, and just about anything you can think of. I have a theological and logical brain so when something doesn’t fit into one of those two categories very well, it’s hard for me to take it as truth, believe it, or except its real. So when I was walking through the Bronx and I saw humans in the worst state i’ve ever seen someone, it was hard for me to sit there and say, “There is a real, loving God out there who created and cares for these people.” logically that doesn’t make sense to me. So yeah I’d say that’s where all my questions started. It lead me down this rabbit hole of theological questions that are debatable and could be debated from any point of view with a biblical standpoint. Again, with a logical brain its hard to see two different points be made in the Bible and not call that a contradiction. But at the same time I know that those two things can coexist with each other and don’t have to be contradictory. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t invite anyone into this with me and sat here, by myself, in my own thoughts while they just ate away at me. It wasn’t until about three or four days ago now that I decided I had enough and started to invite others to help me process. In talking with others and through prayer, i’ve came to the realization that I don’t need to know the answer for everything. And its as simple as that. I know that God is real and good is good because of what he has done in my life. To try and discredit the work he’s done in me because of something I see in someone else would be incredibly dishonorable to him. Right now I’m going back to the basics of the gospel and ill probably stay there and study that for a while now. But yeah sorry if that’s all over the place or hard to track, I’m just typing as I talk to myself and think out loud but this revelation is fresh and I’m excited for what the Lord has in store for this next season. We leave Colombia and head to Vietnam tonight so this whole thing just feels like a fresh start which I think is good.